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Setting Your Relational GPSMan carrying girlfriend, both laughing

Relationships don't run just on sparks.

Falling in love can be intense. The sparks between you and your honey are flying, your entire body feels electrified, and you feel like you can do anything.  But those intense feelings alone don't get you a "solid gold" relationship. Getting from "in love" to "solid gold" takes attention, effort and dedication. 

As the Beatles put it, "the love you take is equal to the love you make"  -- What you get from your relationship will have a lot to do with what you put in to it.  So aim high and make the effort!  

What makes a relationship solid and strong and happy?  What are the characteristics of a "solid gold" relationship? 

Eleven characteristics of relationships that rock.

Explore: Quizzes 'n More

So what's up with your relationship? How are you and your partner doing in these relationship domains? Is your relationship solid gold? Take the Quiz!


You want these qualities in your relationship, trust us.  Relationships that rock are rock solid.  They are relationships that last. 

1. Safety First.

You and your partner feel safe, and are both free from physical, emotional, psychological or sexual harm in your relationship; you feel respected by each other, and handle disagreements in the relationship without either person feeling put down, insulted, demeaned or unsafe.

2. Emotional security and support.

You and your partner consistently look out for each other's best interests. You both are secure in the knowledge that the other loves you, is honest with you, and will always be there for you. You are consistently attentive and responsive to each other's emotional needs, and engage in supportive and caring behaviors toward each other on a daily basis.

3. Knowing and accepting each other.

You and your partner really know and understand each other; you know what is important to the other, each other's innermost feelings and strengths as well as flaws. You both fully accept the other and like who the other is as a person.

4. Authentic self-expression.

You and your partner openly share your innermost feelings with each other (either verbally or nonverbally). You regularly confide in each other and feel free and open, rather than inhibited or held back, when in self-expressions with each other. Neither of you hides parts of yourselves from the other.

5. Sexual fulfillment and fidelity.

You and your partner are satisfied with each other as sexual partners and both feel that your sexual needs and desires are fully met in the relationship. You are both willing to, and comfortable with, responding to each other's sexual needs and desires. You are both committed to sexual exclusivity in your relationship.

6. Personal autonomy.

You and your partner are both able to maintain a strong sense of independence in your relationship, and neither of you is controlled or dominated by the other or by the desire to please the other. You both feel a sense of power and influence in the relationship. You both feel you're able to maintain a clear sense of who you are and of what's important to you as individuals, while being fully in the relationship with each other.

7. Accommodating the other.

You and your partner and are both willing to put aside some of your own needs for the best interests of the other. You are willing to openly listen to the other's perspectives and sometimes change your own position or behaviors as a result, even at some cost to yourself. You both accept influence from each other.

8. Companionship and shared interests.

You and your partner spend quality time with each other, and both enjoy that time together. You make a habit of doing novel, fun or exciting things with each other. You share interests and activities with each other.

9. Commitment.

You and your partner both see yourselves as part of a couple. You make your relationship a priority in your lives and are dedicated to maintaining your relationship with each other for the foreseeable future.

10. Compatible life goals and values.

You and your partner agree on what's important and meaningful in life. You share goals and values.

11. Partner support for personal growth.

You and your partner both support each other in your personal growth and life goals. You support each other as you aspire to be the person you each want to be.

Don't be asleep at the wheel in your relationship! Set your relational GPS towards a relationship that rocks.

Set your relational GPS on these eleven targets.

Don't be asleep at the wheel in your relationship. Be intentional and set your sights high. 

Each of these relationship qualities is within your reach. So take charge of the quality of your relationship! 

Move On!